This page is dedicated to my daughter, Jessica D. Wyckoff

Solaris Resume

Happy Trails, Kiddo.....

Welcome to Jessica's homepage
This page is dedicated to my daughter Jessica, who I haven't seen since 1981 when she was 5.

Ever have someone take your home, everything in it, your money, your vehicles...and your children, leaving you with little more than the clothes on your back? And then hound you for ever increasing "child support" payments for the next 25 years all the while telling your children what a bad person you are and denying you any access to them? And finally, after they are long since married and off on their own, hounding you still more for that one last "going away" extrotion payment of $45,000 so that they can take a nice, well deserved vacation for themselves? And all from a female who claims to be a "born again christian" who conveniently forgot about her own vows to the guy she spent the last 25 years running a pole through.... while living with a guy she is not married to and conveniently "forgetting" to declare the money the two of them are collecting to the child support scumbags?

Yep, I am one of millions of so-called "Deadbeat Dad's" who are good enough to send weekly support checks for years and years but aren't good enough to be allowed to actually know or participate in their children's lives. That's quite a system we have here, folks!
This is a system with no real winners and millions of children as losers. So- called "Deadbeat Dads" are saddled with a huge installment debt that they have no hope of ever paying off and spend the next 10 or 15 years being hounded by Lawyers and various Child Support Enforcement Agencies. No matter how much money you send in every week, it will never be enough. In the unlikely event that a Dad is actually able to pay the support amount that has been decreed, he will for sure find himself standing in front of a Judge on a regular basis until the amount gets so high that there is no way in Hell that he will be able to pay it and have any kind of a life. Which is sort of the point -- never expect Public Employees or ex-wives to give a shit whether you have a life or not. Then come the "arrearages".... the difference between what the Court says you are supposed to pay in "support" and what you actually can afford to pay. Ever wonder how a 33 year old fry cook could get himself into tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt? This is how it happens, folks. Beaurocrats, Public Employees and a totally out-to-lunch "Justice" system have discovered the last people on the planet that it's politically correct to persecute: non-custodial Fathers. Soooo... there are millions of Fathers out there who have little or no relationship with their children and in many cases, such as mine, have been completely shut out of their children's lives. Studies have repeatedly shown that Fathers who are denied access to their children after divorce are far less likely to pay child support than are Dads who are allowed to participate in their Kid's lives. Now there's a surprise! Starting to wonder why Government Agencies don't seem to care about Father's visitation rights yet? Think: no visitation = more deadbeat Dads = higher CSD budgets = more windfalls for lawyers. CSD and Politicians could care less about the children of divorce. America's out-of- control "Family Courts" are about ruining lives, perpetuating Government pork programs, and hammering Citizens into submission. If Government really gave a shit about the children, there would be more Fathers with custody and at least a feeble attempt to ensure that the NCP would *want* to provide reasonable support for his/her children. As it was, the "system" encouraged my Ex to shut me out of my children's lives... like she actually needed any encouragement to do so. I'm wondering how "visionaries" such as Bubba Clinton think the World will improve by creating several generations of children who never get to know their Dads and have no male role model to follow. Twenty years filled with daily doses of venom from their Mothers about what an asshole their Fathers are surely warp these kids' self image and generate a mighty poor (and unfair) image of men generally..
That takes me to the Jeepster
Jessica Jeep was the cutest little girl a Dad could ever have. She got the nickname "jeep" because of her motor-mouth that always seemed to be running. About as short as a weeble person, Jessica was absolutely fearless. Not wanting her to grow up as the stereo-typical female, she played with dump trucks, climbed trees and beat up any boys who picked on her bigger Brother. Jessica has always had a mind of her own. Make her stand in the corner for misbehaving and it would be only minutes before she would start inching her way out of the corner and over to her Dad. I'd make like I wasn't watching her and before long she would be leaning on the arm of my chair saying something like, "So, how's my cute little Daddy?". How can you be angry at a kid like that? I'll bet that these days, she's pretty good at talking her way out of speeding tickets.
The Jeep always had a good set of lungs. She popped out screaming at Alice Peck Day Hospital, where she was born on August 8th, 1976..... just a few doors down from our white New England style colonial home at 77 Mascoma Street in Lebanon, New Hampshire. Jessica never cared much for car rides. She'd start wailing as soon as we hit the highway and you'd swear that there was a procession of ambulances behind us. Once, she fell down an entire flight of stairs and came to a thud on the kitchen floor. She looked around to see if anyone saw her fall and when she saw me sitting there, she started winding up for one of her famous screams. Beating her to the punch, I said, "uh-uh.... you're not hurt", just to see what would happen. She got up, dusted herself off and went away to play... what a little Brat :)
Jessica would go to bed wearing one "gumball" (nightgown) and come down in the morning wearing a completely different outfit. This kid changed clothes every hour on the hour. I never did find out what that was all about, but it sure kept the washer/drier busy! And then there was the time she gave her beautiful, long, brown locks of hair a "trim"..... sheesh! Do all little girls do this kind of stuff? I tried to instill in Jessica a sense of worth and a mindset where she wouldn't ever let someone prevent her from getting what she wanted just because they said so. Jessica was born a scrappy little broad. I figured that if any of my kids would ever try to find me, it would be her. Hell, if I was 20 years old and never knew who my Dad was, I'd move heaven and earth to find him even if everyone did say that he was a worthless sack of shit. Well..... Jessica's 20 now and attending College somewhere in New England (I think). But so far, I have been unable to track her down and she doesn't seem to have had a lot of interest in finding me, even though I keep my whereabouts pretty public and easy to find. I've got a boy (Frank) who's 26 who I've seen exactly once since he was 3 Months old and another boy (Jacob) who, until recently, was shooting cannons in the Alaskan tundra for the Army. Neither of them are even remotely interested in hearing from their "dear old Dad" either .....money sure can't buy you love! My never ending search for my daughter is that one important mission that keeps me going. In some ways, I want to find her more than anything so that we can begin to build that relationship that we have been denied for all of these years. But on the other hand, I'm hoping that I never find her because if she, like her Brothers, doesn't want to have anything to do with me too, then that's pretty much it for me. I can tell you that it's no fun having children and probably in-laws and Grandchildren that you don't even have a picture of, much less a relationship with. The US Government, and it's idiotic quest to solve "problems" has created a gigantic boondoggle that benefits no one and hurts almost everyone it touches. I'm hoping that someday soon, Hillary splits with Chelsea and lays this "Deadbeat Dad" trip on Bubba. For this one time, a contemporary American President might have some small clue what it is like to be a Citizen who's working and scraping to get along like everyone else while the Government is doing everything it possibly can to fuck you over. For sure, there are few in Government who understand what a horror being a NCP can be. I doubt that much will change until our "Leaders" are forced to live under the same rules as the rest of us.
I'll keep a light on for you Jess...

So here's a little update for you 21 years later....

Someone who could have really gotten their butt in a wringer for doing so was kind enough to send me a picture of Jessica's High School graduation. It's a little dated since she is 8 years older now in 2002 but is she a babe or what? Luckily she got her looks from her Mother and not from me. Those who know her say she is very religious and works in some type of social service capacity. I got to pay for her college education but I have no clue where she attended or what she got her degree in. I also understand that she recently (2001) married so I am most likely a Grandfather by now. I'm surprised that I wasn't invited to the wedding so that I could pay for it... but then again, maybe I did pay for it and I just don't know about it. I certainly sent in a heap of "child support" money over the years. Anyway, who knows... maybe I'll get to walk my Grand daughter down the aisle one day, you think?
Anyway, after 21 years and a shoebox full of support payment cancelled checks, I am at least finally out from under that albatross. It sure would have been nice if I got a Fathers Day card one of those years, or maybe a wedding picture or pictures of my Grandchildren or something.... well, if the Jeepster and my Son-in-law have any children, I am sure I will hear about it eventually and if I get 'em, I'll post pictures of the kids here too. My one big hope is that the Jeep's marriage works out because I wouldn't wish my divorce experience on anyone, least of all my children.
I had to change the bulb a few times cuz they keep burning out... but the light's still on for you Jess.

8/8/06 and the Jeep's 30th birthday

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, blah, blah, blah.... People have told me oh, don't worry. Jessica will want to find you once she's older. Yeah, right. Pretty damned bad when you have a married Daughter you haven't seen or heard from in over 25 years... and don't even know her married name.... or where she lives.... or whether you're a Grandfather..... not even a Father's Day card in 25 years. Gee..... swell parenting job, #2 :(

Well, maybe I'll hear from her when when I'm 65. Wait... I'm almost 65 now. OK, maybe I will hear from her when I'm 75, assuming I live that long. To be honest, I'm getting so that I don't really care that much about it any more. My Father could have been Satan himself but I know myself well enough to know that I'd move Heaven and Earth to find him and find out for myself if what everyone else said about him was true or not. If my children want to ignore me like I was some bum panhandling on the corner, I'm not sure that I'm all that keen to hear from them anyway. Until someone dies, there's not going to be any vacancies for new assholes in my life so maybe they should just continue pursuing their happy little lives without their dear old Dad. Just remember, my darling... what goes around comes around. If there is any justice in this World, your children will do to you like you did to me and then you'll know exactly what it feels like. And if you ever find yourself needing a bone marrow transplant, I sure hope your Mother is a suitable Donor match. Otherwise, I guess you're gonna be kinda SOL.

Have yourself a wonderful life.